Artjopjap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic fox.

Artjopjap created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artjopjap, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Artjopjap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Artjopjap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Artjopjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shave your neck.