Begcipyat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, deceitful goblin.

Begcipyat created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Begcipyat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begcipyat, she will strike you with lightening.

Begcipyat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Begcipyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Begcipyat on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.