Hamfumtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, temperamental wyrm.

Hamfumtetti created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamfumtetti, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hamfumtetti, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hamfumtetti's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hamfumtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Hide from white tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Hamfumtetti on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.