Fumfabpig is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty whale.

Fumfabpig created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumfabpig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumfabpig, it will turn you into a goat.

Fumfabpig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fumfabpig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Fumfabpig first in all things.

5. Do not listen to music.