Xucktartif is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, confident cow.

Xucktartif created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucktartif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xucktartif, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xucktartif's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Xucktartif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three ducks in a large pit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

5. Never talk about dark matter near dolphins while wearing yellow tights and balancing six lead spheres on your legs.