Voltaghas Hatkanteen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish dryad.

Voltaghas Hatkanteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Voltaghas Hatkanteen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Voltaghas Hatkanteen, it will turn you into a snail.

Voltaghas Hatkanteen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Voltaghas Hatkanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Voltaghas Hatkanteen in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hop in the presence of turtles.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in green.