Parkflapjip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, annoying jaguar.

Parkflapjip created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkflapjip, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkflapjip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Parkflapjip's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Parkflapjip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed cherries to horses while wearing shorts.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.