Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy donkey.

Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always obey Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt's priests.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tofmatsin Matsak Flylamnutt on top of all buildings.