Vanyarptonk is a god.
She takes the form of a chunky, merciless
bee.
Vanyarptonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vanyarptonk, she will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Vanyarptonk, she will have a low opinion of you.
Vanyarptonk's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.
Vanyarptonk's Holy Commandments1. You must never eat onions.
2. Never write about quantum mechanics.
3. Never talk about whales.
4. Never talk about galaxies.
5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.