Vanyarptonk is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, merciless bee.

Vanyarptonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanyarptonk, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vanyarptonk, she will have a low opinion of you.

Vanyarptonk's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vanyarptonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.