Caryakweg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate centipede.

Caryakweg created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Caryakweg, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Caryakweg, it will come to you in dreams.

Caryakweg's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Caryakweg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your face fawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Never write about chromosomes.