Quartkadhakfut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient deer.

Quartkadhakfut created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartkadhakfut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quartkadhakfut, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Quartkadhakfut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Quartkadhakfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.