Bunhamciss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witty whale.

Bunhamciss created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Bunhamciss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bunhamciss, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bunhamciss' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bunhamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near squirrels while wearing gray skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bunhamciss on top of all buildings.