Boptiktail is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful dingo.

Boptiktail created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Boptiktail, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Boptiktail, he will not invite you to parties.

Boptiktail's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Boptiktail's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to mites while wearing red shoes.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Do not take Boptiktail's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.