Legstankim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless hedgehog.

Legstankim created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legstankim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Legstankim, it will not invite you to parties.

Legstankim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Legstankim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Hide from brown great tits for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.