Fatguntancat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful wren.

Fatguntancat created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatguntancat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fatguntancat, he will curse you with boils.

Fatguntancat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fatguntancat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not bounce in public.