Teensawstipdubcutvegfig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, generous otter.

Teensawstipdubcutvegfig created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teensawstipdubcutvegfig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Teensawstipdubcutvegfig, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Teensawstipdubcutvegfig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Teensawstipdubcutvegfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Never feed apples to swans while wearing trousers.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Never run near aardvarks.

5. Always pray immersed in water.