Sanlapzag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, flying snake.

Sanlapzag created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanlapzag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sanlapzag, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sanlapzag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sanlapzag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sanlapzag on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Sanlapzag's priests.

3. Do not take Sanlapzag's name in vain.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Sanlapzag.