Dussingvan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow mongoose.

Dussingvan created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussingvan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dussingvan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dussingvan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dussingvan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Dussingvan on top of all buildings.

2. Dussingvan loves birds, so they must be respected.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray immersed in water.