Metbagbod is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, effective jackal.

Metbagbod created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metbagbod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Metbagbod, he will think nothing of it.

Metbagbod's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Metbagbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Metbagbod loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Metbagbod in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help goats.