Flabyokkip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical goblin.

Flabyokkip created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabyokkip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flabyokkip, he will turn you into a goat.

Flabyokkip's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Flabyokkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to frogs while wearing coats.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Hide if four monkeys approach from the east.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Run away if three geese approach from the north.