Yarfontal is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciless fox.

Yarfontal created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarfontal, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarfontal, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yarfontal's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yarfontal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never sprint in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Never think about dark energy near birds while wearing yellow rings and balancing four gold spheres on your feet.

5. Do not covet oxen.