Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthinking fairy.

Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag, he will not care.

Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Fomyarpgem Cipyakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to tortoises while wearing magenta boots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about galaxies.