Bonjarnfen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, confident crocodile.

Bonjarnfen created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonjarnfen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonjarnfen, it will not care at all.

Bonjarnfen's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bonjarnfen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonjarnfen.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to snakes while wearing violet jumpers.

5. Never wear shirts.