Fadquamapp is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omniscient wyrm.

Fadquamapp created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fadquamapp, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fadquamapp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fadquamapp's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fadquamapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near goats.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.