Nurlpadont is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful narwhal.

Nurlpadont created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpadont, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlpadont, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nurlpadont's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nurlpadont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing white kilts and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never write about archaea.