Dapbitfar is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody grasshopper.

Dapbitfar created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapbitfar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dapbitfar, she will strike you with lightening.

Dapbitfar's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Dapbitfar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven ants approach from the west.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not chop down trees.