Pitvolrut is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, blissful dugong.

Pitvolrut created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitvolrut, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pitvolrut, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pitvolrut's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Pitvolrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snakes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pitvolrut.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Pitvolrut on top of important buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.