Armlaksaf is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciless hydra.

Armlaksaf created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armlaksaf, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Armlaksaf, she will turn you into a sheep.

Armlaksaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Armlaksaf's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Always help cats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Armlaksaf loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.