Kipnabcar is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, uncaring narwhal.

Kipnabcar created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Kipnabcar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kipnabcar, he will cry a lot.

Kipnabcar's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kipnabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Hide from mauve moths for they are unholy.