Quafrakapp is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witty deer.

Quafrakapp created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafrakapp, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafrakapp, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Quafrakapp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Quafrakapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.