Gatwatzed is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, boastful ant.

Gatwatzed created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatwatzed, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gatwatzed, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gatwatzed's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gatwatzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Ducks are not to be trusted.

4. Gatwatzed loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.