Rawlanpig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonourable snake.

Rawlanpig created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawlanpig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rawlanpig, he will try to impress you with trees.

Rawlanpig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Rawlanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near dolphins while wearing mauve coats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Rawlanpig loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.