Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous spider.

Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot, it will laugh at you.

Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot on top of all buildings.

3. Do not hurt porpoises.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

5. You must pray to Loopkabbatbanrennarlwot six times a day.