Hapgudflag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving bat.

Hapgudflag created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hapgudflag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hapgudflag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hapgudflag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hapgudflag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Hapgudflag.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hapgudflag.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Hapgudflag must be the most important thing in your life.