Nuttvabjon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, benevolent bat.

Nuttvabjon created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvabjon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nuttvabjon, he will turn you into a mouse.

Nuttvabjon's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Nuttvabjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.