Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced hummingbird.

Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Panlaphad Ditdibhugkin's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed lots of rice to shrews while wearing turquoise shorts.