Hatvonkteen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, quiet mouse.

Hatvonkteen created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Hatvonkteen, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hatvonkteen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Hatvonkteen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hatvonkteen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hatvonkteen.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near swans while wearing cyan kilts and balancing three platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Hatvonkteen loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.