Ontfednad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional rat.

Ontfednad created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontfednad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ontfednad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Ontfednad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ontfednad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry goats.

2. Always obey Ontfednad's priests.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Ontfednad on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not covet oxen.