Wipyattgam Latnartlog is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omniscient crocodile.

Wipyattgam Latnartlog created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipyattgam Latnartlog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wipyattgam Latnartlog, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wipyattgam Latnartlog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Wipyattgam Latnartlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Hide if eight pigs approach from the north.

5. Never hurt shrews.