Quafyarpdid is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, loving fox.

Quafyarpdid created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafyarpdid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quafyarpdid, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Quafyarpdid's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Quafyarpdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

3. Never feed aubergines to monkeys while wearing mauve stockings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.