Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish porpoise.

Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dolphins.

2. Bapmutfeb Hitvagzan Nutcedlin loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near doves while wearing blue jumpers and balancing eight titanium spheres on your back.