Figbuntam is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, cheerful crow.

Figbuntam created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Figbuntam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Figbuntam, he will turn you into a rock.

Figbuntam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Figbuntam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Never eat green fruit.