Nulkemgom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, deceitful warg.

Nulkemgom created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulkemgom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nulkemgom, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nulkemgom's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nulkemgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Do not take Nulkemgom's name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.