Ortlitwik is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, impressive butterfly.

Ortlitwik created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortlitwik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ortlitwik, it will turn you into a tree.

Ortlitwik's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Ortlitwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ortlitwik.

3. Put Ortlitwik first in all things.

4. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Ortlitwik on top of important buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.