Talfaghun Hugdabtig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sage cow.

Talfaghun Hugdabtig created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfaghun Hugdabtig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Talfaghun Hugdabtig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Talfaghun Hugdabtig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Talfaghun Hugdabtig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick ducks.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Talfaghun Hugdabtig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.