Cempiggan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow human.

Cempiggan created the Tadpole Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cempiggan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cempiggan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cempiggan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cempiggan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never mention gulls.