Ingstipmap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, irritating seal.

Ingstipmap created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Ingstipmap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ingstipmap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Ingstipmap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Ingstipmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not take Ingstipmap's name in vain.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not kill nematodes.