Ripcenquat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, loving tapir.

Ripcenquat created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripcenquat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ripcenquat, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ripcenquat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ripcenquat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six otters approach from the west.

2. Never think ill of sick shrews.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never look at moons.