Kinkopflattonktigyoktap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, boastful hedgehog.

Kinkopflattonktigyoktap created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinkopflattonktigyoktap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kinkopflattonktigyoktap, she will refuse to believe in you.

Kinkopflattonktigyoktap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kinkopflattonktigyoktap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing brown shoes and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

5. Always take life seriously.