Gumfudmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident skunk.

Gumfudmeg created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumfudmeg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gumfudmeg, he will turn you into a worm.

Gumfudmeg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gumfudmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to mites while wearing turquoise shorts.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.